


Keys to the Squad

by donato



Category: Emergency!
Genre: Gen, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, detour into twilight zone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-26
Updated: 2017-10-26
Packaged: 2019-01-23 12:44:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12507720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/donato/pseuds/donato
Summary: Johnny gets hurt and ends up at Rampart. While dreaming he slips into the twilight zone and fights Roy for the keys to the squad- to say things get out of hand is an understatement.There are references to frequently used lines in stories, quotes taken out of blooper reels and even a reference to a fanfic story I read way back but have never found again. There's references to episodes and all in all a feast of all that is Emergency. Nothing was sacred in our email banter and so we present to you a story quite like no other.





	Keys to the Squad

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sue M](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Sue+M).



> This story was co-written by myself and SueM . A huge thank you goes to Sue as without her this story would be only half written and the second chapter would not exist.

KEYS TO THE SQUAD  
By Donato and SueM

Chapter 1

“I’ll just clean up here and meet you at Rampart” said Johnny as he packed up the biophone and placed it in the back of the ambulance for Roy. 

“Sure, sounds good, I’ll see you there.“ Roy answered Johnny who helped the ambulance attendant load their 20 year old still unconscious patient. 

They had been called out to take care of this young woman who had an epileptic seizure. Johnny rapped twice on the ambulance door to let the driver know that all was secured and they were ready to roll. Johnny cleaned up the scene, started the squad and then proceeded on to Rampart. It had been a busy morning and he was hungry, tired and wet. He watched out the windshield as the wipers swung back and forth and pushed away the rain as it lashed down. This didn’t do anything to lighten his mood. He turned the heater on to try and warm up the cab and hopefully himself.

Johnny had gone about three blocks before he saw the lights at the next intersection turn red. He slowed down as he approached the crossroad in time to see the large furniture truck careen through the intersection. The truck lost the fight for control as it fishtailed in the large puddle that started to flood the road. Before Johnny knew it, he watched as the truck slid at a ninety degree angle and came straight at him. With no time to do anything apart from picking up the radio and depressing the button, thinking he'd call for help, the squad was hit full force in the drivers side. The squad spun around in a 180 turn and was propelled in paert by the still attached truck and momentum into the light pole on the side of the road. The vehicle no longer looked as it had only moments before. 

Inside the cab Johnny lay unconscious with the radio loosely clasped in his hand. He was slumped forward over the steering wheel. Each breath was difficult, with the wheel pushed against his chest. Blood poured down his face and dripped to make a pool on his left thigh, saturating his pants. The windshield displayed a cobwebbed shape where Johnny’s head had bounced and thrown him into unconsciousness. Had Johnny been awake he would’ve known he was in trouble, deep trouble.

Witnesses got out of their cars to see what they could do. Several people had gone to call for help. The rain kept pelting down as it poured into the cab through the twisted metal. It was definitely not a good day to have an accident. In the distance the sound of sirens rang out as police cars arrived. They contained the scene while they checked on the drivers of the vehicles involved and waited for the paramedics to appear. Squad 45 pulled up to the scene and saw the mangled squad that used to be 51’s. The question on their minds was how bad were the guys inside the cab? They grabbed their gear and then got to work. 

Bellingham went to the furniture truck and Brice went to squad 51. Bellingham’s patient was unharmed, just a bit shook up. His vital signs were taken, but the driver declined any medical treatment and signed a waiver form and then was taken away by the police for a statement.

Meanwhile, Brice had called his colleagues over from the engine to help him extricate Johnny. He had entered through the passenger door and was busy assessing the dark haired paramedic pinned in the cab. Brice covered himself and Johnny as the men took the windshield out. Brice then did the rest of the reassessment while the jaws of life pulled the steering wheel away from Johnny’s chest. Bellingham had joined Brice by this time and started to relay information to Dr Brackett and included that the patient was John Gage.  
Dr Brackett had just seen Roy leave treatment room one and head off to the nurses lounge with the biophone and drug box. The doctor waved at Dixie to get her attention. During a lull in transmission he alerted Dixie to what was going on and that Johnny was involved in an MVA. He explained to the concerned nurse that one of her favorite paramedics was still trapped in the squad and unconscious. Dixie gave a quick glance to the nurses' lounge and mentally adjusted herself to tell Roy the news.

Brice had by now managed to get some vitals on Johnny and relayed them to Bellingham. “Rampart , bp is 110/60, pulse is 90 and thready, respirations are 22 and laboured. Patient is cold, clammy and not responding to verbal or physical stimuli. Pupils are sluggish. Patient has a large laceration on the left side of his forehead approx. 4 inches long and full thickness, bone is visible and on gentle palpation no abnormality detected but significant swelling apparent, Rampart. Patient also has unequal seesaw breathing with decreased breath sounds in the left lung. His left forearm appears to have a clean break in the mid-shaft of ulna and radius. Radial pulse intact and circulation check satis apart from being cold to the touch. Please note Rampart that patient is generally cold over both upper extremities and clothes are noted to be wet. Temperature is 96.5.“ 

The doctor answered, his face held a scowl as he realized the severity of the situation, “Squad 45, dress the head wound, splint the left arm, administer 10L oxygen via mask, place sandbag over left chest wall. Treat for possible neck and spinal injuries. Start an IV and give 1L Lactated Ringers, take a red top and bring it in. I also want vitals taken every 5 minutes or sooner if condition changes. Notify me of any changes ASAP. Transport as soon as possible. Is there an ambulance at the scene 45?” 

Bellingham relayed the orders back to Brackett and confirmed an ambulance was ready. He looked at his watch and told the hospital that their ETA was 20 minutes. The twitch in Dr Bracket’s lip showed his friend just how serious he thought Johnny’s condition was.

"I’m worried Joe, his head injury and flail chest with a possible pneumo doesn’t bode well for our boy, I’d like you in the treatment room with me if you don’t mind.” 

“You don’t even need to ask,” the kindly Dr Early said as he put his arm up onto Kel’s shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze, “Has Roy been told?” The Doctors looked up to see the head nurse and paramedic on their way over.

“Well, I see that he has. Dixie’s bringing him our way, Kel. Looks like he’s already hit 10 on the anxiety Richter scale. Come on let’s get things ready and quickly talk to Roy.” Both doctors left the base station and headed over to tell Roy what they knew so far before they gave out orders to get the treatment room ready. 

Brice made another update, stating that Johnny was now on his way and that they should arrive at Rampart within 15 minutes. He explained that his patient was still unconscious, breathing was still labored and breath sounds had worsened on the left. Respirations were now 34 and he had tracheal deviation and jugular vein distension. Permission was requested and given for a needle decompression to the affected lung. 

Upon arrival at Rampart, Johnny was taken into treatment room 4 and transferred onto the examination table. A buzz of activity ensued around the comatose paramedic and after vitals, bloods and x-rays were taken it was deemed that Johnny had a flail chest with resultant pulmonary contusion and haemopneumothorax of the left lung. A chest tube was inserted. Johnny was intubated and scheduled for emergency surgery to stabilize his left rib cage. He would also have the left arm set while he was under. The skull series showed a linear hairline fracture that extended across his forehead for about 3 inches. The good news was that it wasn’t a depressed skull fracture. The bad news was that Johnny hadn’t regained consciousness and had a severe concussion. A CT later showed no bleeding on or in the brain. It was just a matter of wait and see.

After surgery Johnny was transferred up to ICU on life support and in critical condition. He was placed on prophylactic antibiotics to ward off the atelectasis if not pneumonia but Drs Brackett and Early felt sure that Johnny would develop one if not both anyway given his predilection for chest infections and the nature of his injuries. 

Roy took up a bedside vigil on his days off and willed his young partner to be strong, to fight with all his might and to get better soon. After 2 days Johnny had developed full blown pneumonia and the outlook was poor. Johnny was spiking temps of 105.2. Cooling measures were put in place, extra antibiotics were given and blood cultures were taken and still the fever raged on. Johnny was restless and agitated at times. He was obviously in the throes of a delirium and acted out whatever hallucination he was caught up in.  
Johnny’s lips moved silently as if he was speaking but with the tube in place nothing was heard. Roy kept his continual one sided conversation to Johnny going. He told his partner all the daily news and events at the station house. He explained about the accident with the squad while driving it in. But he never went into detail, that could wait until Johnny was doing better. Roy wasn’t a praying man, yet he found himself on more than one occasion sending up thoughts that he hoped would be answered. Roy kept hope that his strength would be passed onto Johnny. 

By day 7 the tide turned. Johnny’s temp started to drop. He was less agitated. He held his own and the antibiotics were doing their job. Johnny had turned the corner. It was just a matter of time before he would wake up as the latest neurological tests were promising.

Nine days after the accident Johnny woke up briefly. He lazily looked around the room not knowing where he was or why he was wherever he was. This isn’t right was his last thought as he succumbed to the arms of Morpheus once again. Later that evening Dixie went to check in on Johnny before going home. Johnny opened his eyes again. Dixie’s eyes locked with his as he gave her a lazy lopsided smile before he started to fade back to sleep. 

“Oh no you don’t buster, you open your eyes for me again and keep them open, Tiger” Dixie told Johnny in no uncertain terms. She pushed the button for the nurse’s station and asked the nurse to page Dr's Brackett and Early. 

“Well Johnny, you’ve had a time of it but I think we can safely say you are on the home stretch. I’m expecting your partner to arrive soon. Dixie has called him and I know he’ll be very happy.” Brackett told him as he put his stethoscope back into his lab coat, “If you keep up this progress we will move you into a step down room tomorrow. So, In the meantime are you ready to have that tube removed from your throat?” Johnny nodded his head slowly and grimaced in pain from just that small movement. 

Roy was ecstatic to hear that Johnny was awake and apart from slight memory loss leading up to the accident and confusion, he was expected to make a full recovery. Roy entered the ICU room about thirty minutes after getting the good news. Johnny was propped up in the bed with the ventilator beside the bed but no longer attached. He was still connected to a heart monitor. He had oxygen via a non-rebreather mask in situ. His left arm was encased in plaster from elbow to fingers and resting on a pillow. A central venous line was on the right side of his upper chest and TPN - a white liquid was slowly going in giving him nutrients helping to combat any weight loss. He had a bag of saline slowly dripping into another port on his triple lumen central line. A catheter was draining his urine, and an A-line was in his right wrist. His blood pressure showed he was still on the low side but all things considered he was alive and breathing on his own. The chest drain was swinging with every breath and blood filled up the container but not as quickly as it once had. He had a bruise on his chest that showed up vividly around his dressings from surgery and the drain. He had two black eyes that made him look like a raccoon. The stitches were red but not infected as they stretched like a centipede across his forehead. They would be coming out in a day or two. The scar wouldn't be that noticeable with the way he wore his hair long and shaggy.

Roy let out a heavy sigh, his best friend was back. He knew once Johnny got discharged that his children would be allowed to color all over the cast. Johnny still looked pale and a light sheen of sweat formed over his forehead and upper lip due to obvious pain. Roy continued to study his partner and wondered why there was no pain relief. Johnny had been through too much to deal with this. The paramedic wondered more about it, this wasn’t like Doctor Brackett. He made a mental note to ask the nursing station for pain meds in a few minutes so that his friend would be more comfortable.

“Junior” Roy spoke very softly, scared he might wake Johnny up. Part of him wanted Johnny awake but another part of him knew how important sleep was. Johnny opened his chocolate brown eyes as best he could. The periorbital swelling made opening them up fully a bit difficult not to mention the dim light hurt his eyes. 

“Pally” the voice was raw and croaky. It obviously hurt just to say that. Roy gave Johnny some ice chips. 

“Hush Junior, it’s alright, you are gonna be fine. I’m just so glad you made it through these last nine days. Are you in pain? Do you need any pain relief?” Roy knew Johnny was in pain but the words just came out. He now had a light hold on Johnny’s right hand. 

“No, want ta see you for bit, they make me sleepy” Johnny weakly gasped out.

“Shhh, it’s okay, Junior. I’m not going anywhere for a while. Jo and the kids send their love and get well wishes. Accept it buddy, that you’ve received a kiss by me from Jo, alright?” 

Johnny smirked at the thought while Roy blushed, embarrassed to do what his wife had asked. He just gently stroked his friend’s hand instead. 

“ 'kay” was all Johnny said before he finally fell into a deep sleep. Roy watched as the nurse entered, checked on Johnny, and then added the pain relief medication in to his IV. Roy then stayed by his friend’s bedside all night just to make sure that Johnny stayed stable enough to stay off the ventilator. 

Several times through the night Johnny mumbled things about keys and power. Roy could only make out snippets of what he mumbled. Something to do with the squad and Boot. Even Pete and Jim from Adam 12 got mentioned. He wondered if Johnny was dreaming of the time he was obsessed with the ending of an Adam 12 episode. Several times Roy thought he even heard his name. Johnny was restless quite a few times overnight. Whatever you’re dreaming about Junior it must be a doozy, Roy thought.

In the morning Johnny woke up late just before lunch time. He was a bit more with it but was still hazy on the day of the accident. Dr Early did another neurological exam and was pleased with what he saw. The latest blood results and ABGs showed good enough perfusion that meant the ventilator wasn’t required. True to his word, Dr Brackett had Johnny moved to a step down unit later that day. He wasn’t out of the woods yet but he was heading in the right direction.

“So Junior, you’re a bit quiet today.” Roy said with concern, “Are you okay? Something on your mind?” Roy asked Johnny after he was settled into his new room. Johnny had been a bit leery of Roy since he woke that morning. There was definitely something amiss with his partner.

Roy walked over to the windows. He pulled the blinds to dim the room in order to stop the glare so it wouldn’t hit Johnny’s eyes and wouldn’t increase his friend’s headache.  
Johnny was fiddling with his nasal cannula oxygen tubing. A sign that something was on his mind. “Roy, I had the strangest dream, at least I think it was a dream but it felt so real; it didn’t happen did it?” Johnny asked as he looked at Roy. Spread across his bruised face was an expression that pleaded for an answer to his question. 

“Um, Junior, I don’t know what you’re talking about. Maybe if you tell me it might make things easier to understand.” Roy curiously asked as he pulled up a chair next to Johnny’s bed. 

“Well, ya see Roy, it goes like this. I don’t know if it’s my memory coming back and getting a little mixed up or if it’s from when I was sick. If I tell ya, you will be honest with me and tell me if it happened, won't ya?” Johnny questioned as he sipped water continuously to keep his throat from feeling raw when he talked.

Roy became more and more intrigued. “Johnny, please just tell me. I promise I won’t interrupt until you’re finished and I will tell you if it happened or not, alright? Now PLEASE will you just tell me?”

Johnny resettled himself back into the bed while he held his cup of water and tried to figure out where to start, “Well, ya see Roy, it was all about the keys to the squad and me driving it and then you wouldn’t let me and well things got out of hand. It went like this…”

 

Chapter 2

“Junior, yes, you did well and for that I’ll let you have the keys to the squad. “ said Roy after Johnny had won a bet with Roy. The prize was Roy would let Johnny drive the squad.

“Oh my god, I get to drive. Last time I drove the squad, well, it wouldn’t go for me because it thought I was too rough taking shortcuts down back alleys and all. Remember that, Pally?” Johnny said to Roy.

“Oh, that's right …Now I’m taking the keys back,” stated a relieved Roy while he dangled the keys at Johnny and laughed.

“I’m telling ya, Pally, I can drive the squad. Just let me have the keys and stop reneging on the bet.” Johnny pouted.

“Do you really think I have a death wish, Junior?” Roy let slip as he headed to the day room to get a cup of coffee. Meanwhile he put the keys into his pocket.

“Oh man, that is so not a good deal. Just you wait. I will get my revenge. I might need to seek the aid of the phantom but it will be worth it. When you least expect it Pally, I will strike. Bwahahaha” Johnny then rethought his approach, “It’s OK you can let go of the breath you didn’t realize you were holding. I can’t be that mean. I’ll find another way of getting the keys to the squad. The power, er, squad will be mine! What was that? I think I hear the Cap calling for his twits to line up for roll call. I must be off, I see the phantom approaching eating the last of a jelly donut and I need to talk to him about the keys to, um.... er, the locker. Yeah that’s right, keys to the locker.” Johnny told Roy as he followed him into the dayroom. While the other guys stopped what they were doing to hear what was going on between the two paramedics.

“Hahaha, I will never give up the keys to the squad, never!” With this Roy drained his coffee and rinsed out the cup and made his way out for line up.

“Oh, what’s that over there? “ Johnny pointed to nothing in particular and successfully distracted his partner…..Whoosh. “ While you were getting hit by a waterbomb from the phantom, I took the keys to the squad. Haha, now I’ve got the Ke-eys.” Johnny sing songed off ke-ey to his partner’s displeasure.

“That’s OK Junior, I’m on the biophone now calling Rampart requesting they do a 'keys-otomy' on you. Then they will get the keys off you and give it to me; so dare I say, 'I can rule the squad' ” Roy laughed while he finished up the morning calibration to Rampart.

“Ha! I laugh in the face of such tomfoolery for I have hidden the keys. The squad will be mine!! Today the squad, tomorrow the world. I’ve already bribed Drs Brackett and Early not to mention Morton into coming onto my side. You see they feel sorry for me always having to ride shotgun. Well Brackett and Early definitely, Morton I’m not too sure about. He thinks I’m too soft to be the squad driver let alone ruler of the world!” Johnny stated to Roy.

“Junior, junior, junior, you see I have spoken to Dixie. As you know she and Betty rule over the Drs. and well, you know as Betty said 'it’s not nice to fool mother nature.' Those keys belong to me naturally. By the way there are alarms on the squad and it will cure you of this dream to take over the squad; let alone the world. Now who has the POWER, HUH!” Roy looked smugly over to Johnny. He felt he had won the argument.

“Ha, that’s what you think. We all know that it is not an alarm but a rattle and I’ve got my trusty screwdriver and mechanic roller board and will soon have the alarm, er I mean rattle disarmed... I mean fixed. Then being the great mechanic that I am, with the exceptions of Charlie and Dr Early of course, I’m going to install into the squad a tape deck instructing you to let me drive the squad while a subliminal message is heard by not only you but everyone else. Oh no! I’ve lost the keys. I can’t remember where I hid them!!!” Johnny was desperately patting down his pockets and then ran to his locker. He threw things out all over the floor. He looked at his Smokey the Bear poster and wondered where he had last seen the keys.

“Ahhh, but I do have the keys now, thanks to my metal detector.” Roy couldn’t contain himself as he gloated about having the keys. He had beat Johnny at his own game. “Also I got Boot to take that screw driver and hide it. Not only that but I have the latest state of the art, block everything out ear plugs.”

“Right, this means WAR!!!!! No wonder my metal detector couldn’t find anything. I was thwarted by my best pally. Hummphh. Call yourself a pal, pally. I think NOT. But don’t worry I’ve got a plan or two up my sleeve. You see while you were watching the squad on the TV, I went and changed the ignition on the squad. Now I have the keys. The only keys! It’s not nice to fool your junior, pally!!! Bwahaha, the POWER IS MINE!!!!” Johnny was getting hysterical now and laughing maniacally. “I should have known that no good scoundrel of a dog would be in on it. I can’t believe you pally. I played my tape to Boot and now he’s putty in my hands. The tide is turning my friend. LA Dispatch will succumb to my power as will all of LA with my hypnotic tape. I will have the POWER. By the way I drilled little holes in your trusty ear plugs so the messages will still get to you.” Bwahahaha! 

Roy stood there in disbelief until he remembered what he himself had done, “Then you will put all of LA to sleep since it will go through the dispatcher’s radio. I should have known you’d be dog enough to finally get Boot to like you. But you see, I, yes I, have something on you both. Remember the dog that Boot didn’t get along with, the Yorkshire terrier that Paula Slayton gave you, Sam? Well guess who has her now and she is looking for Boot, and that isn’t the only part of my plan. 

"I have snuck under the hood of our dodge and took care of the rotor, distributor cap and the spark plugs. So the squad will no longer run. I’ll show you.” Roy broke into a loud and raucous laugh - Bwahahaha. 

“Also I brought a pair of ear protectors that you can’t drill through. Hey Junior, before I forget, my friends Jon and Ponch are protecting the squad and the keys.”

Johnny stood there with his mouth agape, speechless at his friends thoroughness in thwarting his every plan.

“And now for the piece de resistance; I have traded in your Land Rover for this car.!!!!” Roy swept his arm out to the parking lot and there in Johnny's spot was a multi-colored and vibrantly decorated Volkswagon Beetle. A string of pom poms hung inside the car along the windshield to match the gaily painted car. “Far out, aint it? Gotta love those bugs. Have fun Junior!” With that Roy folded his arms over his chest looking like the cat that got the cream.

“I DON’T BELIEVE YOU!!!!! I just don’t believe you. I’m speechless. Just speechless!!!! How can you do that? My beautiful Land Rover, man! You know that’s my baby."

THE NEXT DAY...

"I had to drive all over the city in that bug, trying to find my beloved Rover. Alas to no avail. But you know what pally. Even though I didn’t find my Rover I found out something even better. The chicks dig my new beetle. Yeah, that’s right it’s a real chick magnet. As I was driving all over Carson and LA looking for my Rover I couldn’t get over all the attention I was getting from the chicks, man. Also it kind of matches my multi-colored patchwork pants and beaded Native American belts. So there buddy, oh pal of mine! 

"As for Boot and Sam I hope you realize we are gonna get call outs to that hypochondriac again. You just never learn! You know what, next time we get a call there, and we will, you just mark my words, I’m staying in the squad and you can deal with her alone. I should report you to the SPCA for dognapping. That’s if she hasn’t done it already. In fact I just might drop her an anonymous letter telling her who stole her dog. Man you are in so much trouble. An’ Boots a traitor. He might just mysteriously end up at another snorkel station as their mascot. Then again I’m known for my flair of cooking hot dogs. I might surprise you with a hot dog casserole one day soon. Ya see I’ve seen this really cute but lazy basset hound that would fit right in with station 51. He just might turn up one day out of the blue.

“I heard Charlie made a surprise visit after Sam Lanier from dispatch notified him that squad was out of action due to mechanical failure. He thought we had a broken fan belt and got caught up in a bank robbery gone wrong. Man, I don't know where he got that idea from.” Johnny said. “But when he accidentally on purpose found out from me that you had wantonly vandalized the squads’ motor, he notified Cap and Chief Houts. They are now requesting, in a not so suggestive manner, that you have a psyche evaluation before they let you work again. That’s right pally, get ready for the padded cell, man. Oh, in case you haven’t realized it yet, you’ve been suspended from work until further notice. Oh, to put the icing on the cake, I ran into Vince in my new psychedelic beetle and he just about ticketed me for DUI. 

“He couldn’t believe anyone sober would drive that thing. When I told him how you stole my beloved Rover and traded it in for the beetle he told me all about grand larceny and how you could go down for it big time, pally. You could be going from padded cell to prison cell if I so desire it. To have such power is a mighty thing.

“Man, you got it coming from all sides. The hypochondriac lady, SPCA, Sam, Cap, Charlie, even Chief Houts for destroying county property. Not to mention the psyche eval. Man, I so don’t wanna be you right now. Lieutenant Crockett could be knocking at your door anytime if I deem to press charges. Joanne couldn’t believe it when I just bumped into her by accident after waiting for her for 2 hours at the supermarket and told her everything that you had been doing and for the petty reason of not letting me drive the squad. She’s livid that you are suspended without pay until proven sane. I don’t think they are gonna find you sane anytime soon pally.

“She's phoned up her mother and she's coming down to stay with her to help out with the kids while you’re suspended. Life is just so good, well not for you maybe but from where I’m sittin’ it’s looking pretty hot diggity damn fine!

“In all my excitement, er, I mean in all this sad but horrible reality for you I forgot to mention how I had drinks with Jon and Ponch the other night, and man, they couldn’t believe what you did. They thought it was incredible, I tell ya just incredible. They didn’t know that you would stoop to such a low level and use them in your game of folly. Might I just say that Ponch couldn’t get over it. He was all ready to come and bust ya chops, man. Lucky for you Jon talked him down.

“Ya see, I’ve got everybody on my side being the 'baby' of the family and turning on my Gage charm I win every time. The fact that the beetle in all her glorious color – I’ve called her Josie, after Joseph and the amazing techni-colored dream coat, anyway I digress. As I was saying the guys believe I’m the victim here cos every time the guys see Josie in the parking lot at work it highlights your insanity in every color under the rainbow or more to the point every color on Josie. Chet wanted to know if you had been eating daffodil bulbs, Marcos’ on to his 20th rotation of the rosary. Man, I’ve never seen a guy move those beads so fast and mumbling loco under his breath. He’s either praying for your mental health or a car maybe. Mike just stands there looking at Josie with his jaw open wide catching flies – he’s speechless, like me pally. Cap’s is still muttering about twits and surprise inspections and having idiots at the station, until Chet told him that you were suspended so there weren’t any idiots at station 51 currently. I don’t think Cap saw it the same way and Chet got latrine duty for a month.

“I told you buddy, and now it’s true. I have the power and always have done pally. As you can see I’m still speechless at what you did, words fail me. Just as well as I might go into rant mode. Just be thankful that I’m so stunned and shocked at your actions that I’m speechless for once. You’re incredible Roy, just incredible.

“Just one more thing. In case you haven’t worked it out, I’m driving the squad ALL the time while you’re suspended nut boy!!! Who got the last laugh now ?” Finally taking a well earned breath, Johnny sat back fuming about what Roy had done.

Roy had to smile at his mastery of how he'd spun things around on Johnny, “Ah, Junior, you don’t think I saw all this. That I didn’t check things out. Well, I have shown Crockett, Jon and Ponch, along with Jim and Pete the for sale sign from your Land Rover. I spoke to the guys and they remembered that you wanted to trade the cars, so if I wanted my car back, well I thought that by trading yours in and getting you that sportier more in with the times, chick magnet car, well, that would be the kindest thing to do. 

“I went to Edna Self after she got bit by Sam and I took her off her hands. Jo and the kids love her. Jo, because Sam is small, cute and not huge so she won’t knock Jo or me over, especially into pools. So, nope, no charges on that either. Even Paula Slayton is now on my side after I spoke with her. Honestly Junior, how could you give that dog away after Paula tried so hard to keep her promise. She isn’t happy.

“I have also covered my tracks with Cap, Charlie and Chief Houts. I went to Chief Sorenson and explained that in order to stop you joy riding I just unhooked the plug wires and distributor cap that has the rotor in it and it only takes a minute to pop it back in. I also explained how I feared for my sanity with what you were playing over the LAFDCo dispatch airwaves to the point I had to have ear protection and it was harassment to all on the job. Sam Lanier backed me up on that one too. I also told them that was another reason I had to do what I did. Once I told Jo, boy did she change her tune.

“Now junior everyone is upset. By the way, I was paid for the false suspension and am contemplating filing a complaint on you and then you will be suspended. Pete and Jim are only to happy to arrest you after Crockett spoke to them. You could be charged with piracy of the airwaves and attempted murder. You tried to drill into my ears for cryin’ out loud. 

“So, Junior, ready to call a truce? By the way I’ll be back in my seat driving the squad next shift.

“Hope you had fun with Brice. He requested not to return to 51. Cap and the guys are surprised at what you’d do to drive the squad more often. So I am putting it in your hands Junior. Everything is straight with me and can be for you too if and only if you cease and desist from all this foolishness. I haven'y yet filed the complaint but if you give me your word I will drop the charges. Enjoy the car buddy, though you are a nut, sometimes a nice nut but a nut all the same. “ Roy finished with a flourish. 

Johnny was flushed with frustration and was tired of the game.“ OK partner, you win but I just wanna make a few things clear first before I bow to your superiority. I see now ITS HOW YOU PLAY THE GAME. I was only tryin’ to be HELPFUL and not have you SADDLED with being the DRIVERs all the time. But I’ll BACK UP and try not to be a NUISANCE. I should have realized that you needed to be behind the wheel as it makes you feel RIGHT AT HOME. I heard Charlie came and did a spot INSPECTION in the squad. Had to make sure the radio was on the right FREQUENCY and that there would be no more COMMUNICATION GAFFEs. I had to PROMISE him no more MESSIN’ AROUND. We came to an UNDERSTANDING at the end of the day. He did say we had both been FOOLS. I couldn’t deny that. I must admit that all this one-upmanship hasn’t done much for my INSOMNIA and has been keeping me up ALL NIGHT LONG. Just think of all THE HARD HOURS we put into bestin’ each other. So no more acting like KIDS , if I’m HONEST I have to admit I don’t mind riding shotgun.

“I have to apologize to BOOT too I suppose. I’d never turn him into a hot dog. It was a FAIR FIGHT between you and I but THE GAME has come to an end and I’d hate to see our friendship BREAKDOWN over this. So I suppose the BOTTOM LINE of it all is that now that the INSANITY EPIDEMIC is over like the WEIRD WEDNESDAY that it was we can only go UPWARD AND ONWARD and ABOVE AND BEYOND together. No more DILEMMA really, is there pally. We ain't gonna keep going at it like an ALLEY CAT playing with a MOUSE.

“So, SURPRISE, I accept your truce. I hope this has tied up all the LOOSE ENDS and that there won’t be any need to file any complaints PAPERWORK. So I will see you in the morning line up PARADE pally. Who knows it just might be ONE OF THOSE DAYS with everything back to rights between us we'll feel LIGHTER THAN AIR, MAN. Oh I gotta tell ya about THE STEWARDESS I met while driving Josie. She invited me to this BASH .” Johnny had finally finished his rant and Roy finally looked at him. He wanted to clear the air once and for all about the squad.

Looking Johnny in the eyes and with the utmost sincerity Roy simply stated “Junior, what started out as KIDDING turned into the likes of PRESSURE-165. Please know, you are important as a navigator and better than I am at it ALL NIGHT LONG. I am glad that the FREQUENCY between us is back to normal. I know I am an OLD ENGINE in my ways and will give you more DRIVERS time. I PROMISE to keep RULES OF ORDER and not be MESSIN’ AROUND in this FOOLS game. With THE PROMISE made to Edna Self, I have given her back Samantha who no longer will bite her after being with my KIDS.

“You are right, in that we have been acting like KIDS. I for one am HONESTly sorry for my part in this. I really think our emotions got outta control, like an INFERNO and I spoke to Jo about it. She saw this as well. Heck, she‘s been telling me all along to stop trying to be the HEAVYWEIGHT. I am ashamed to say this but my pride got in the way. I am glad of the SURPRISE of this truce and going back to being best friends. I, um, well, missed you, Junior. Besides this was bringing way too much GOSSIP between Rampart, 51’s and the Department which I had a NAGGING SUSPICION it would. I have talked to everyone that got into this and the INVOLVEMENT from them is gone. The EQUIPMENT is now back in order and I believe Charlie is over it as he spoke to me as well.

“I’m glad we have an UNDERSTANDING, junior. I sure felt those HARD HOURS which caused both of us a lot of distress and grief. I am glad I can again trust you to be my BACK UP and I yours. I am GRATEFUL for having my friend and Partner back.

“Trust you Junior, you’re just like Dr Brackett said when you both had the VIRUS,you are a real romeo! I am glad you met that STEWARDESS, but thought with a car like that you’d meet a FUZZ LADY.” With that said Roy looked away and regrouped himself. He wasn’t used to laying himself open like this but his friendship with Johnny was too important to throw away over his pride.

Johnny looked at Roy when he came to the end. His throat was sore and he had had to refill his cup twice just to get his voice to work. Roy took it all in and realized that Johnny was waiting for him to confirm or deny the tale he just spun. Roy smiled and looked at his still sick partner and put him out of his misery. “Johnny, you have the wildest imagination of anyone I’ve ever met. It was all a dream. In fact, last night I stayed by your bed and heard you mumble about the squad and keys and things like that. I think it will take a few days, but your dreams should settle down. It’s just that ICU psychosis that you get after being in ICU a while. It will pass Junior. So In the meantime if you have any other weird dreams or thoughts and you’re confused by them don’t hesitate to just ask okay buddy?” Roy stated and then patted Johnny on his uninjured arm. 

Roy could see that Johnny was tired from retelling this long tale. Johnny's eyelids were starting to droop to mere slits and his head was dropping down to his chest. With both men feeling more reassured, Roy let the silence of the room help lull Johnny to sleep.  
Roy thought back over Johnny's dream and covered his laugh with a small cough. He didn’t want his friend to hear. He reviewed the whole story and with a smile he thought yes his friend was a nut, sometimes a nice nut but still a nut. All the same he wouldn’t change him for anything in the world. 

The End

**Author's Note:**

> This accidental story was written a few years ago and developed between my friend Sue M and I as we emailed back and forth and as you can see I think we went to the twilight zone.  
> Roy's POV beautifully captured by Sue M  
> Johnny's POV badly done by me, I apologize now. In my defense this was my first story that wasn't a conscious decision to be a story just two people trying to outdo each other in their emails.  
> 


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